my people and my home

I am a grey’s anatomy fan…and just like Kristina I have “a person” but it is more like “people”…I have my “people”. My people are not foreign to this blog…their pictures have graced the pages many a times and their names pop up here and there. Just to refresh, Haley, Shan, and Kel…these are my people and my people came in town this weekend and warmed my heart, touched my belly, and made me laugh – many times.

I remember not too long ago when I would weep for my people…I would weep to be close to them, for them to live across the street from me, for them to be apart of my everyday life. I would let my mind hate this state and hate this town. I would make my Terry believe that my only happiness was in Georgia, right next to my people. I am glad to say God has renewed this place to me. I love my people, but we are better for each other by making footprints in different towns. We bring more wisdom to each other, more to our friendship, and in the end my people bring more to my heart.

As my people left our house yesterday, I was thankful for their presence in my home. My home. Yes, Birmingham is my home. And instead of crying when the left, I smiled that Mike and Cara were outside with Bryson washing cars and asking us to grill out. I smiled that Chelsey is coming for dinner on Wednesday to let us meet her new boy. I smiled that Robyn, Bridges and the rest of our small group form church are coming on Thursday to watch Lost. I smiled that I love our new church…that it feel like home to us. I smiled that Addison would know this place as her home, too – and that she already has friends in our neighborhood waiting for her to come and play. I smiled that my place in this world is perfect. Those girls are my people, but this neighborhood, this town, this state, this is my place – and I love it.

In the midst of this smiling, I wondered when it was I realized this place had become home. And then it dawned on me…a couple of weeks ago, we had Robyn, Bridges and little Evynne over for dinner. They are not only friends from church, they are neighbors and they make me smile. Robyn has a sweet gift of making people feel like you have known them for years…it is refreshing. So we had them for dinner. My Henry-dog about drove them nuts, but they handled it like troopers. As with any other night, Henry was waiting for the end of the meal when he gets to lick our plates. First, I put down my plate, then Terry and then even Robyn puts down her plate. It was so sweet to me. And probably so weird to her…we are officially the weird Tingles. But it was ok. It is so hard sometimes - being real with people you want to get to know so badly. But we were real…I was real. That is when I realized I was home.

I have been in Birmingham for almost 5 years. And for most of four, I fought it. I put on a smile to make acquaintances – not friends. Like I said, I already had my people. But I was wrong. I need community, I need friends, I need a home. My footprints are now permanent here…like I said, I am home.

addison's room - phase 1

This weekend was spent striping addison’s room. It was not a planned event but one that transpired out of boredom. Well, that and dislike for the shoot ‘em up move terry was watching. Yeah, so the painting is done, but not without some happening along the way.

So after…

Two days
4 rolls of blue tape
Two cans of cheap paint
A drop cloth that will tear if you breathe on it
Open windows with 40 degree wind blowing through your hair
No bickering...praise God for peace!
176 squats
224 calf raises (b/c my terry is short and can’t reach to tape the ceiling…even with a stool – haha)
Only one major spill on the carpet (rug purchase has just jumped from #7 on the list of needs to #1…oops)
Lots of sighs and groans…I got stuck on the floor a couple of times and couldn’t get up…
Worry that it was going to look like crap (that blue tape plays with your vision)
Making sure Addison wasn’t getting high on me
And finally Henry christening the room when I didn’t pay attention to his whining to be let out…

…This is what it takes to get a baby’s room to look like neopolitan ice cream.

Beginnings of a Nursery

Tired dad and happy Henry-dog

Henry-dog waiting for Addison

On to the next baby room project…painting furniture…

june

There are many, many sad things that have happened in the past year, each one of them keeping me humble and on my knees. There is Terry’s friend Dustin Salter- an amazing dad, husband, and pastor to college students through RUF at Furman. He was riding a bike with his sons, just spending some “dad” time with them, falls off his bike, and now has suffered brain injuries for 3 months. You can read about his journey here.

Then there is Brian Hatton – a man I have never met, but he too had an accident and suffers major brain injuries. He lies in a hospital bed, just a Dustin does, with a child at home and loved ones by his side day in and day out talking to him, squeezing his hand, and doing just about anything to “excite” his brain. His story is told here.

This past weekend my best friend’s father was rushed into surgery to drain a hematoma. If Woody hadn’t gone to the doctor when he did, he could have suffered an irreversible coma or paralysis on one side of his body.

Then I think back to last June…June 9 to the exact. I had a major deadline for a project at the University of Alabama that day. Our whole team had been working around the clock, on weekends, and some nights until 1 or 2 in the morning. I was exhausted. Then I get the phone call. The phone call every person dreads to hear. My 19 year old cousin passed away during the night and didn’t wake up the next morning. Tragedy. My heart breaks to even think about it. We later learned that he had suffered an aneurysm – again, another injury to the brain but this time a life was taken, my cousin’s life. Had he seen another day, June 10 would have been his 20th birthday.

So what is it with the brain? I think about these four people who have affected my life in some way and I wonder why did God turn their brains off, or save one in Woody’s case. There are days where I wish I could turn my brain off; I think we all have those days. There are certainly days, months or even a year here and there that I wish my brain would let me forget. Then there are times when my Terry is so stressed with work that I want my brain to take on those stresses for him so that he can have a good night’s rest. The heart keeps us alive, but the brain, that keeps us human. And on top of being very human right now, I am very pregnant. And as with any pregnancy there is a due date – mine is June 10.

I go in Addison’s room every night to pray for her. Last night I wept as I prayed. My brain will not let me forget that June 10 has two meanings. That day, that week, heck even that month will forever be one of celebration and one of loss. There is no way around it, there is no way to forget it. It is forever embedded in my brain. I’m not really saying anything profound, thought-provoking, or even humorous with this post, but I am saying what my head thinks – June is going to hard, that week will be hard. But I know, no matter what the emotion, life will be celebrated – for both Addison and Nick, we will celebrate!