one word

pathetic. my poor blog. a whole year and only a handful of posts. in part due to a macbook that has no more disk space. no more uploading pics. safari painfully slow. continuous pop ups saying disk full. 

i have an external hard drive. that is just about empty. 

so today i am trying to revamp my poor, overweight macbook. update the ipad. actually hook up my phone to my computer for the first time...and i got it in may. 

isn't it funny that i now equate house work with technology updates, scans, backups, ect. they both tire me out. 

all that to say, maybe a real post is lingering in the future. maybe.

it's after midnight. i should be working but instead i shed a tear. ok, lots of tears. tears i have had hidden behind these eyes. tears that i have kept addison from seeing. tears that need to be shed.

she is so ready. i, too, am so ready.

but the fear creeps in. slowly, quietly. have i prepared her enough. have i taught her enough. will she be brave. will she lend a hand to that friend in class who has dropped his pencils. will she run and help the sweet girl who fell on the playground and hurt her knee. will she seek out those who are shy and make them feel comforted. will she remember she has a GOOD God that is with her every single step of the day.will she know how much i miss her.

will she let me kiss her goodbye in the mornings. will she let me run and hug the stuff out of her when i pick her up. will she like my lunches and my snacks i make for her. will she miss me.

she is so ready. maybe, i'm not really ready.

riley calls her su-su. he wakes up every morning asking for su-su. he adores his su-su. i don't think riley is ready either. poor guy, he is about to get overloaded with some mommy love.

so she goes to kindergarten. my only saving grace is that every other mother in america has been here, done this. and they survived. i have hidden these tears because little miss is so excited. she cannot wait to learn to read. and make friends. and go to the library. but when she sees me get the tiniest bit weepy, she retreats. says she's not ready. that she wants to be with me. at home. 

so i am letting it all out in the middle of the night. being soooo dramatic about it. and now laughing at myself through these tears. do you know i spent 2 hours at walmart today picking out the PERFECT lunches and snacks so that she will know how much i love her? nuts. kindergarten mom kind of nuts.

i think i got all the tears out. for now. and now i am tired and need sleep.

nite nite.



we tingles just landed back home after a completely refreshing trip to the gulf. my dad and jackie so graciously extended their vacation to include us, for which we are forever thankful. it was a good week. to say we didn't want it to end is a vast understatement. thank goodness 30a and i will meet again this weekend. whew.

biking and the beach kind of go hand in hand in my book. on saturday i took the chance to have a little girl time with my little miss. we loaded up and biked into seaside, grabbed us some cookies and a coffee and headed to the shore for a little beach picnic (can i just say that my coconut latte was absolutely yummy!). it was just us down there, trying to find ariel and flounder in the sea, and singing at the top of our lungs of course. 

i want my children to have moments when they feel no competition with one another. where they receive 100% of my attention. where their voices are heard and cherished. when they can fill their cups with comfort, protection and unconditional love. i pray i can provide them with these things. i pray they feel them. 

i pray addison's cup was full from our beach picnic. mine sure was.

 

 

i love my little boogers but sometimes mama needs a night away. and by golly, i get TWO, did you see that, TWO nights out this weekend. first up, date with the hubs. then girl's night saturday. are you flipping kidding me? 

a night away will do me good. but two nights is just a blessing. being a coach's wife means a lot of time with just me and the kids. long days, long nights. long seasons. and i find that i get so caught up in being their sole caretaker during these seasons, that i in turn find it hard to peel myself out of my no-makeup-covered-in-yogurt-nose-picking-paci-finding-get-me-a-snack mom outfit and pray that my whitney-you-use-to-gussy-up-all-fancy outfit still fits. 

this weekend, i am quite confident gussied-up-whitney will fit just fine. TWO nights in a row. 

pinch me :)

surrender

i've hung in there all wrestling season. i feel like i haven't complained much which more than likely means i have complained a ton. but this week, this day, this very every living moment, i am done. stick a fork in me. throw in the towel. wave the white flag. done. done. and done.

so done in fact i just ordered a large half supreme/half meat lovers pan pizza from the hut. with cinnamon sticks. and a pepsi. all for myself. 

ok, i feel better. 

these ba-humbug, poor me, this sucks kind of blogs are so uncharacteristically SUPER negative of me that i will probably remove this post once my belly is full and terry is back home. but for the few that will actually read this, you can laugh with me. 

because i am now laughing at myself for being SO dramatic.

and for ordering a gut-bomb meal that is about to make me the happiest person alive. 

a wedding

 

  

this is one of those way long overdue posts...in fact i will probably post it back in september but for now i will keep it here.

in september my cousin got married. you might vaguely remember in july '10 we got a dreaded call in the middle of the night that my cousin was in a horrific car accident. after a long year, many surgeries, life-threatening infections and lost of moments of praying, matthew is alive and well...and now has even managed to walk a beautiful lady down the aisle.

addison was the lucky little lady who got to be flower girl. to say she loved it was an understatement. it was touch and go there for a little bit. she didn't cooperate that well for pictures but she made the trip down the aisle and that was where my worry subsided. little did i know, i should have held my breath until she walked out of the sanctuary to breathe a sigh of relief. up front and center she managed to wave some big hello's, show everyone her shoes, pull out, inspect and return the hanger-loop-thingy in her dress...you get the idea. at one point she looked up at the maid of honor and said "can i ask you a question?". oh my.

as for the actual wedding, i don't think i have ever seen such an entrance from the bride. the music, the timing - let's just it got your emotions flowing. there were nurses and others at the wedding that were sure when they saw matthew leave the medical center en route to atlanta many months ago, they thought they might never see him again. but they did. on a very special day.

it was a wedding to celebrate, from all angles. my dad and jackie ran hotel elliott flawlessly. we came from texas, oklahoma, alabama and ohio. there was food (isn't there always food?), drinks, laughter, LOTS of stories and catching up. it was fun. absolutely fun.

 

bath time

terry will probably kill me for even thinking about posting bath time pics...oh well. {yep, terry wasn't happy. pics removed.}

i love bath time with the babes. there are giggles. lots of smiles. bubbles and toys. it is always a great way to settle into the night. happy, clean and ready for bed. warm in their pjs, ready for a story and sippy cups of milk.

addison tries to keep us in there as long as the reasons keep flowing. riley wants to just go to bed - no rocking, no holding, just put-me-down-please kind of wiggles. 

and then it is quiet. nice and quiet. 

dated 2 months. engaged 11 months. married almost 8 years. 2 kiddos running around.

while talking briefly today i informed him that i ran early so i could make shirts and do a few errands this afternoon so i could watch tv with him tonight.

wahoo! big night in the tingles watchin' some grey's. but you know, it's the little things. in his crazy coaching schedule you take what you can get. i'll gladly take a night of tv and pjs with the hubs.

grey's better be new this week. just sayin'.

3 pm and random thoughts

it's 3pm and in my little world i either hop on the treadmill for a run or have a cup of joe. today is a coffee day. with some new cream i just bought at publix. on sale. everything is better when you get it on sale. and dang it, just as i wrote that i realized i forgot to get that yummy spread lauren put on fb. darn. probably for the best since i am not making eye contact with the treadmill and trying to do the same with my pantry. there is a chance that if it is as good as she says, i would have eaten to whole jar.

so here i sit. the civil wars station humming on pandora. my coffee brewing. my babes sleeping. have i told you i have 7 months before little miss goes to school? 7 months. oh man.

which brings me to school, where we live, terry's job, staying home to raise my kids, the gas bill, driving a truck, feelings of isolation, feelings of freedom. you see, our gas bill is huge because terry drives 50 miles one way to work so i drive the truck while he takes the civic. but it's ok because i don't go places everyday which sometimes makes being a stay at home mom isolating and lonely but then the thought of going back to work makes me love my day to day freedom of life and just being with my cute kiddos. we live in a great neighborhood with the most fun neighbors and an ok school system. we pray terry can get closer to home. we pray that God will be gracious to addison as she enters school, no matter where she will be. but you know, we are healthy, our bills are paid, we are together and there are big silly smiles happening within these walls. what more could i ask for?

my friend lauren (man you are popular in my thoughts today friend) put on her blog a link to another blog about resolutions. i liked it. she made them but declared she was not married to them. not allowing herself to feel burdened by a goal not met. and one of her resolutions was to nurture 3 friendships. i really liked that one. i think i just found my first resolution of the year.

anyway, my coffee is waiting.  sorry for the randomness. just one of those random, happy days.

hugs and kisses.

 

for some reason my little family loves plopping down on the bed, especially with their daddy, to just hang out. pjs and all. we did a lot of this before terry headed back to work after christmas. pjs, donuts, giggles, cartoons, books and bed hanging. yep that just about sums up the fun times in the tingle home.

addison and riley got the Jesus Storybook Bible in their stocking. i had always heard good things about it and it is confirmed, i LOVE this little story bible. we are still working our way through the old testament and what i cherish is that at the end of every little story, it always points us back to the gospel. back to Jesus. it shows me, my kids, my family that God always had a plan. he always had a purpose for every little thing. even in my little world, he has a plan, a purpose. 

man, i can wrap myself around myself better than the rest. i can be severely critical and negative. i can gripe and complain with the best of them. those are my sins, among many. i pray i remain convicted by them so that i can continue to be forgiven for them. thank goodness for a little children's storybook bible to speak such volumes to this hardened adult heart.

my little man has had a rough week. he had tummy troubles, shots, some mean teeth action and then a horrible fever virus. last night his fever reached 103.8. there wasn't much sleep happening just a lot of crying. it was so pitiful. looking at these pics i took earlier this week just screams he doesn't feel good. as my mom would say "he has weak eyes."

like i said, he had his shots this week. as a mom, it seems like one of the most controversial topics of my parenting generation. to vaccinate or not to vaccinate. up this time was the mmr and his flu booster. i was scared this time around. our pediatrician completely disagrees with the theory of the vaccines and autism link. i have always felt comfortable expressing my concern to him, with both children, and he has always come back with concrete answers. not just feel good answers. real answers with real research. i know as a mom i could stand up and say no to the vaccines. but i choose to trust medicine. to trust our dr. 

so there were shots and then there were many prayers throughout the day because even though i do trust the medicine and our dr, i trust a good God more. 

riley wells weighed in around the 20th percentile while his height was up to 85th. tall and skinny. and at 15 months he is becoming more and more "boy" by the day. yet he still remains mild and tender. and definitely pensive. his fits last mere seconds. his laughs are contagious. his smile, well, it makes this mommy smile in return. his words are few but he knows what he wants. i simply cannot remember life without our little man.

to round it out...macon christmas fun!

i somehow convinced terry that santa DOES come to macon. and so, we loaded up and off we went. chilly the elf even showed up in macon. silly chilly i tell you. and it was so fun. crazy busy but so fun. it was a mix of my old traditions {christmas eve service at martha bowman with shug and pop, elliott family christmas eve at big daddy and jackie's, yummy food, giving of presents} and new ones {nu-way eating, reindeer food throwing, santa letter writing - and receiving}. there was the celebrating with old family, new family, family via skype. there was also the celebrating of life with my cousin and my grandmother. it was christmas. there was baby Jesus. there was much to celebrate.

for addison this year we focused on teaching her the birth of Jesus and also about giving. while driving down the road one day she started talking...

a: mom...

me: yeah, babe.

a: christmas is about giving.

me: you got it. we give because we love. like God loves us and he gave us Jesus.

a: yep, and like we will give presents to people we love. like shug and pop, big daddy and jackie, mimi and papa, bryson and branning. {and on and on and on she went}

me: that is so right addison. 

a: yep. and then all of them will give to ME!

oh my. the important thing is there are seeds planted. seeds of knowledge about the birth of Christ, seeds about giving, seeds about grace and salvation. i just have to trust and pray that these seeds take root and grow strong in her little heart. 

like a said, i love christmas. and what a joyful christmas it was. merry merry everyone.

 

 

 

tingle christmas fun! part 2...

we are a lot of tingles when we gather up. 7 kiddos, 6 adults, 2 grandparents. well, that is a lot to me. i come from small stock. and as we celebrate...

there is the christmas story read by becca, the oldest. and a cake for Jesus.

 

there is caroling. by everyone. a little 12 days of christmas, a little silent night, a little "sisters, sisters" from the sisters.

{sidebar: most of the girls on terry's side of the family went to see white christmas at samford this year. it was a fun night. addison fell in love, it was my first time seeing it, and thus we spent the rest of the season watching it over. and over. and over. no elf. no christmas vacation. just white christmas. thank you amc for playing it every. single. night.}

 

there are presents. lots and lots of fabulous presents. the tingles love big and give big. and we walk away blessed and humbled by their giving.

 

the 2nd generation (when you are in a BIG family and there are so many of you, that is what we young adults are called, the 2nd generation) gave mimi and papa a framed print of the family picture we had taken of all of us together. 

let me pause and say something here. do you see this sweet woman? that smile was so genuine, so true, so real. there were tears, too. as she sat there, holding her frame, he said "look at my family. what a beautiful family". there is nothing she loves more than her family. because of her, because of them, i have learned to hold my family close to my heart. to serve them. to encourage them. to give to them. this, my friends, it a beautiful woman. i am lucky to have her in my life.

 

there is christmas bingo, more goodies and eating, a little lounging, definitely some laughing. and one of these days us in-laws will finally get to see papa belt out a little elvis blue christmas. 

and then there is riley wells. in his christmas suit and red kicks, drool and silly smile. 

month of fun...oh christmas fun! part 1

i love christmas. i mean L.O.V.E. christmas. the whole dang month. i am {one of those} who could definitely celebrate from november 1 on. i love the hustle and bustle. the excitement. the family, the traveling, the cookies and cakes. the everything. oh man. i love christmas. 

i don't successfully do recaps {you know the beach recap? yep, still waiting on that one myself}. so here is an attempt at a christmas recap - part 1.

we have an elf. we love our elf. our elf is laid back. he is a ray lamontagne listening, coffee sipping, head bobbing kind of elf. i like to think he is a pretty chill kid up there in the northern regions. i mean, his name is chilly.

chilly arrived to kick off christmas with a oh-so-healthy breakfast for the kiddos, a letter, and some little goodies to remind them christmas is about Jesus.  oh that silly chilly. it was fun to have him around for a month. 

 

 

 

and then the dreaded oh-so-fun gingerbread house making. i am still giggling. let's just say that mommy had to pound into addison's head that her's was NOT edible. and thank you mr. glue gun inventor, you saved me.

then the dreaded happened. my lens broke. no pics of briarwood nativity with sweet friends, school christmas party, neighborhood christmas party with some fabulous tacky attire, christmas with the dobson's and all the kiddos in tow, the BIG krack family christmas, women's christmas brunch at church, ect, ect. sigh. but just in time terry did manage to snag a new lens at a local camera shop. merry christmas to me.

new year

i don't do resolutions. i say this every year on the blog, i think. i set goals and don't keep them. i aspire to be something and get lazy. like the picture a day. HA. haha. i want to SOOO badly attempt it again but alas, here i am on the 4th day with no picture posted. maybe i will just aspire to 4-5, maybe 3, posts a week. ok, maybe 2. haha.

happy new year's everyone. i hope it is full of blessings. full of laughter. and as my dear friend says, full of fresh grace.