three goals

riley wells met this big old world on september 22nd 2010. i don't know if it was before he was a "he" or after, but i made three goals sometime around his debut.

1. breast feed baby #2 for a whole year.

2. run a 5k.

3. lose weight.

three goals in one year. two of which i had never reached before. one of which i had only obtained when it meant losing 20 pounds...not 120 pounds (ok, slight exaggeration). but three goals, three HARD goals, i was sure i was going to fail.

i didn't nurse addison. she was a big, lazy girl. i wasn't convinced i could (cough, wanted) to do it. i was still working and the thought of saying "um, excuse mr. president of samford univeristy, i need to go pump". i am modest and having to pump at work meant me exposing a little much of myself to clients. so i spent a day feeling sorry for myself and then jumped, happily, on the formula train. with riley wells, i was staying home. no more work (and no more second income) and i wanted to nurse him. i had a desire. and a goal. for one year to breast feed.

goal #1 - accomplished.

i have never run a 5k. i don't know if i have ever really run long distances consistently. ever. i can remember one night my freshman year, kel and i were at ramsey on the track and we just started running and talking...and just kept on running. i remember thinking that it actually felt good to run but for some reason i think i convinced myself it was just a fluke. that for one night i just had super running powers that would never stay with me. when i lived on martha's vineyard one summer in college, one of my roommates was a big runner and i remember her telling me "anyone can run, whitney. it is just a mind game". so, however many years later, i finally told my mind i was going to do it. with the help of a certain amazing friend (who happened to run track for tennessee) and LOTS to talk about and keep my mind off of the pain, i ran my first 5k on oct. 15th.

goal #2 - accomplished.

which brings me to goal #3. the dreaded weight loss. if you are a long time reader, you have read my beginnings of many diets on here...and by the lack of posts, you knew my failures. i gained a TON of weight with addison. weight that i never really lost. i didn't gain that much with riley wells, but i didn't have much room to work with. and by the end i was actually about 18 pounds less when i had him as opposed to addison. but after the 6 weeks and settling in of postpartum, i was exactly the same with riley as i was with addison. and that was a LONG way from where i was pre-baby. and by mean LONG, i mean a LONG WAY.

the weekend we went to the masters in april, we also went strawberry picking and my stepfather took a picture of me. i did not like that picture. in fact i hated that picture. that night i signed up for weight watchers.

as of saturday i have lost 45 pounds. my goal is to lose 53 to reach goal weight. for the past 6 weeks or so i have been telling myself that if i don't lose any more, it is ok, i am happy with where i am. which is true to some extent. do not get me wrong, i am MORE than thankful to have lost the weight. i feel good. i am in shape. i am humbled and so thankful to be where i am. BUT i haven't reach my goal. and i finally realized this past week that i don't like it. i set a goal, i want to reach it.

i haven't written about my journey at all on the blog. mainly because in the past, when i wrote about losing weight, i failed. it is like i would hype myself up too much. does that even make sense? i know, weird.

so goal #3 - somewhat accomplished...but still not quite.

you would think after 45 lbs, 8 would be a piece of cake. instead the cake has been eaten. now is the time to put it back down and rev up the engines.

anyone there?

it has been way too long. i promised my aunt cindy, over a month ago, i would do better. oops. there is so much to update. so much that has happened. and by golly, i am going to post them all...one way or another. and when i do i will have to put up another post that says: to see addison's 2nd pumpkin patch go all the way back to 2009, october, post #3. no kidding - that post is still yet to be done. yikes.

in the meantime, i have been watching my little man grow, fallen in love with my crockpot, spent most of last saturday holding two precious baby girls (LOVE me some laney and helen claire), learning to like running, making a ton of tees, and well, just trying to hold onto the little moments.

little moments like watching riley wells open a birthday present. i saved what i could for him to open without the help of a certain 4 year old sister. this particular present (thank you miss leslie!!) he opened about as slow as he eats. and he savored the gift like he does his food. opening and closing the card, unwrapping the paper, and "reading" every page. my little guy. such an old soul. such a precious little guy. he would eat the wrapping paper but wouldn't touch his cake.

and i have learned, this blog, like so many other things in my life, once i get going, it just happens. often. like cooking, spending time in the Word, exercising, dieting, cleaning...if i just set it into motion, the wheels will keep turning and things will get accomplished. here's to setting the blog into motion...for the 103rd time.