simple

i like simple things.

a song with only a guitar playing. simple. a steak with no fancy marinade. simple. pandora. i type in an artist, it creates music for my mood. simple. i miss my sister, we skype. simple. i need to hear my little people giggle, i tickle them. simple.

i said for christmas this year i finally felt like my dad. he has always said he wanted peace, joy and happiness (or something to that effect). this year, that's what i wanted too. simple peace, joy and happiness. 

but not really all that simple. because the news shatters the joy. facebook pages remembering little ones gone too soon shatters the peace. and we are left running to the ones we love clinging to them for fear of "it" one day happening to us. 

i took some much needed time off for christmas. what a whirlwind the last few months have been. i needed an escape from reality. what better way to escape than to pack up and head to the mountains. where my phone gets no service and we smell like a bonfire for days on end. we play, we laugh, we hike down to the river and roast hotdogs. simple. 

i like simple.  happy new year friends. 

 

 

 

 

one word

pathetic. my poor blog. a whole year and only a handful of posts. in part due to a macbook that has no more disk space. no more uploading pics. safari painfully slow. continuous pop ups saying disk full. 

i have an external hard drive. that is just about empty. 

so today i am trying to revamp my poor, overweight macbook. update the ipad. actually hook up my phone to my computer for the first time...and i got it in may. 

isn't it funny that i now equate house work with technology updates, scans, backups, ect. they both tire me out. 

all that to say, maybe a real post is lingering in the future. maybe.

it's after midnight. i should be working but instead i shed a tear. ok, lots of tears. tears i have had hidden behind these eyes. tears that i have kept addison from seeing. tears that need to be shed.

she is so ready. i, too, am so ready.

but the fear creeps in. slowly, quietly. have i prepared her enough. have i taught her enough. will she be brave. will she lend a hand to that friend in class who has dropped his pencils. will she run and help the sweet girl who fell on the playground and hurt her knee. will she seek out those who are shy and make them feel comforted. will she remember she has a GOOD God that is with her every single step of the day.will she know how much i miss her.

will she let me kiss her goodbye in the mornings. will she let me run and hug the stuff out of her when i pick her up. will she like my lunches and my snacks i make for her. will she miss me.

she is so ready. maybe, i'm not really ready.

riley calls her su-su. he wakes up every morning asking for su-su. he adores his su-su. i don't think riley is ready either. poor guy, he is about to get overloaded with some mommy love.

so she goes to kindergarten. my only saving grace is that every other mother in america has been here, done this. and they survived. i have hidden these tears because little miss is so excited. she cannot wait to learn to read. and make friends. and go to the library. but when she sees me get the tiniest bit weepy, she retreats. says she's not ready. that she wants to be with me. at home. 

so i am letting it all out in the middle of the night. being soooo dramatic about it. and now laughing at myself through these tears. do you know i spent 2 hours at walmart today picking out the PERFECT lunches and snacks so that she will know how much i love her? nuts. kindergarten mom kind of nuts.

i think i got all the tears out. for now. and now i am tired and need sleep.

nite nite.



we tingles just landed back home after a completely refreshing trip to the gulf. my dad and jackie so graciously extended their vacation to include us, for which we are forever thankful. it was a good week. to say we didn't want it to end is a vast understatement. thank goodness 30a and i will meet again this weekend. whew.

biking and the beach kind of go hand in hand in my book. on saturday i took the chance to have a little girl time with my little miss. we loaded up and biked into seaside, grabbed us some cookies and a coffee and headed to the shore for a little beach picnic (can i just say that my coconut latte was absolutely yummy!). it was just us down there, trying to find ariel and flounder in the sea, and singing at the top of our lungs of course. 

i want my children to have moments when they feel no competition with one another. where they receive 100% of my attention. where their voices are heard and cherished. when they can fill their cups with comfort, protection and unconditional love. i pray i can provide them with these things. i pray they feel them. 

i pray addison's cup was full from our beach picnic. mine sure was.

 

 

i love my little boogers but sometimes mama needs a night away. and by golly, i get TWO, did you see that, TWO nights out this weekend. first up, date with the hubs. then girl's night saturday. are you flipping kidding me? 

a night away will do me good. but two nights is just a blessing. being a coach's wife means a lot of time with just me and the kids. long days, long nights. long seasons. and i find that i get so caught up in being their sole caretaker during these seasons, that i in turn find it hard to peel myself out of my no-makeup-covered-in-yogurt-nose-picking-paci-finding-get-me-a-snack mom outfit and pray that my whitney-you-use-to-gussy-up-all-fancy outfit still fits. 

this weekend, i am quite confident gussied-up-whitney will fit just fine. TWO nights in a row. 

pinch me :)

surrender

i've hung in there all wrestling season. i feel like i haven't complained much which more than likely means i have complained a ton. but this week, this day, this very every living moment, i am done. stick a fork in me. throw in the towel. wave the white flag. done. done. and done.

so done in fact i just ordered a large half supreme/half meat lovers pan pizza from the hut. with cinnamon sticks. and a pepsi. all for myself. 

ok, i feel better. 

these ba-humbug, poor me, this sucks kind of blogs are so uncharacteristically SUPER negative of me that i will probably remove this post once my belly is full and terry is back home. but for the few that will actually read this, you can laugh with me. 

because i am now laughing at myself for being SO dramatic.

and for ordering a gut-bomb meal that is about to make me the happiest person alive. 

a wedding

 

  

this is one of those way long overdue posts...in fact i will probably post it back in september but for now i will keep it here.

in september my cousin got married. you might vaguely remember in july '10 we got a dreaded call in the middle of the night that my cousin was in a horrific car accident. after a long year, many surgeries, life-threatening infections and lost of moments of praying, matthew is alive and well...and now has even managed to walk a beautiful lady down the aisle.

addison was the lucky little lady who got to be flower girl. to say she loved it was an understatement. it was touch and go there for a little bit. she didn't cooperate that well for pictures but she made the trip down the aisle and that was where my worry subsided. little did i know, i should have held my breath until she walked out of the sanctuary to breathe a sigh of relief. up front and center she managed to wave some big hello's, show everyone her shoes, pull out, inspect and return the hanger-loop-thingy in her dress...you get the idea. at one point she looked up at the maid of honor and said "can i ask you a question?". oh my.

as for the actual wedding, i don't think i have ever seen such an entrance from the bride. the music, the timing - let's just it got your emotions flowing. there were nurses and others at the wedding that were sure when they saw matthew leave the medical center en route to atlanta many months ago, they thought they might never see him again. but they did. on a very special day.

it was a wedding to celebrate, from all angles. my dad and jackie ran hotel elliott flawlessly. we came from texas, oklahoma, alabama and ohio. there was food (isn't there always food?), drinks, laughter, LOTS of stories and catching up. it was fun. absolutely fun.