tingle family beach trip

septmeber 4th

seriously, another one mom?
naked time in the swing - her favorite part of the day!
addison loves going out and about in her car seat!

have i told you i love my baby addison? man, i do. today marked my half-way point of maternity leave - 6 1/2 weeks down, 6 1/2 more to go. i cried at the dinner table tonight. it certainly was not my first time crying about daycare and i know it will not be my last. but tonight i was filled with fear. what will i miss in her day to day life? will she miss me? will she think i have abandoned her? it is hard for to me to leave her while i go to the gym for just a couple of hours each day, i cannot imagine what it will be like september 4th.

there are many dates in my mind that have played a significant part in my life...

april 24, 1996 - 16th birthday
march 20, 2004 - wedding day
december 18, 2004 - graduated from college
june 10, 2007 - addison's due date

all of the dates have lingered in my mind for extended periods of time. they are all dates i longed for, couldn't wait for. i don't think i have ever dreaded such a day as i dread september 4th. it will be hard, heck it is hard right now. i keep telling myself i am excited about work, that i miss work...i think today i realized i was lying. i would give anything to be able to stay home with little addison, but at this point it is not possible. it is ok. i will be ok. but i am scared and sad today. so today it is not ok.

i had no intention of being so glum, it just happened. i guess i felt the need to really say the fear that lives in my head. i feel better now. not really - i am just lying again. i guess i need prayer. please pray that i will be strong come septmeber 4th.

on a more fun note, we had our 6 week check-up today. 11lbs 12oz and 22 3/4" long...she is still a big'n!

one month birthday

one month ago today this precious angel came into our world. one month...a whole month. some days it feels like yesterday and them some days it feels like an eternity. regardless of how time has defined itself, i am loving every minute of it. i mean look at this face will you - how could you not fall in love with that little grin! dr. brian said she wouldn't smile until she was 6 weeks old and lookie here, it is only 4 weeks and she is already smiling. genius i tell you, pure genuis. that or just a flirt, or mischevious - but it is probably just a smirk from a good ole fashion poot!

like the wonderful parents we are, what do we do on addison's one month birthday? we leave our child with the grandparents and go on a date! we went to eat some mexican and then off to see "knocked up". so this movie was pretty crude and had filthy language but the end got me. when ben and allison's baby girl was finally born i was completely overcome with emotion. i wondered why and then it hit me - i am now a part of the club. the club that has all mothers bound together in this miracle of birth. it took my breath away and will continue to do so forever in this life. to watch a baby being born, or to even talk about it is amazing. it is emotional and ovewheming and breathtaking. i love being a mom. i love being a part of the club.

and just for kicks, a sweet pic of daddy and daughter spending some time loving on each other! man, these two melt my heart!