Las Meninas

I needed to write something fun today and for me art is fun. My favorite classes in college were my art history classes. I would have been an art history major if I new I wouldn't end up being a security guard at the local museum. In my very first art class at the good ole UGA I fell in love with art. Who knows why. Maybe because for the first time in my life I had fallen in love with something that wasn't human but it meant something. I felt smart and cultural. It was also the first time where I had no desire to skip class...and usually I could think of a million reasons for someone to skip class (it's a wonder I ever graduated!)

I will never forget the day this painting made its debute on the slides. I have no idea what made me admire it but it was instant love. It is from the Baroque period, which is my favorite, but this painting, this little girl, she is amazing. The whole painting is mysterious. You have no idea what is going on...what does it mean? who is the subject? what are the people doing? who are these people? It makes you wonder and it makes you keep asking for more.

I like mystery. I like to watch people. I like going to new places and seeing people interact. I love big cities because people have agendas and ipods. I love hiking and camping because those people have granola in their bags and cool dogs by their side. I love hollywood actors because they have the world at thier disposal yet most are still miserable and I wonder how can that be. I love the beach because all that is important is a good buffet song, a good shagging partner, and a good daquari. I love the mountains because of the adventure and fearless skiiers.

I hate personality tests because I hate being catogorized into one "type." I like thinking that I am a mystery...just like this painting. I like being the new yorker, the hiker, the skiier, the a-lister, the beach bum, and so many more. So today I am escaping to my favorite painting to once again wonder what makes this little girl to special?...and I will probably say, as always, I have no idea, she just is...it is a fun mystery.

Meet Henry...

Here is the little rascal that has stolen our hearts...yes, even Terry's. Today I am thankful that I finally have a puppy to make me smile!!! Thank you Terry for the best Christmas Present ever!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

story people

i love story people. we met my summer on the vineyard and my love has only grown since then. they grace the walls of my kitchen and the homes of many of my friends. they are my "go-to" present. when nothing in this world seems good enough for someone, there is always a story to tell and a picture to be given. why do i love them so much? i think it is because in just a few short words i am provoked and challanged and contemplative. the stories make me think about the things i have done. they make me think about the people that i love and why i love them. this one in called Angel of Mercy. it makes me think of my great-uncle clarence. he is as close to me as any grandfather could be. for those of you who do not know, he is sick. but that does not define him. no. what defines him is his love for life. his life motto is..."never stop learning." somehow, magically, he ignites in your soul this desire to learn, to explore, to wake up and stop missing your life. he is my Angel of Mercy.

thank you clarence for constantly keeping me from missing my life. i love you.

Me, Haley (the bride), Shannon and Kelly

Originally uploaded by wlelliot.

my girls

i usually pick on one friend for a whole entry but today is different. you see, it's different because when it comes to the four of us, i can't talk about one without the other. our friendship is whole. our memories weave together. our laughs sing together. our phone calls follow one another. at times we go weeks without talking, but my heart hurts from the distance. these are the girls who refresh me. i need them. i need their fun. i need their honesty. i need their encouragement and wisdom. i need to hear them smile so that i know they are happy. i need to hear them cry so that i know they are growing. i need to hear them complain so that i know they are human. i need them because they are my girls.

my girls...haley, kelly, and shannon. we all pledged alpha delta pi at uga in the fall of '98. but i have to admit, pick any day our freshman year: bid day, initiaiton, saturday tailgating, thursday night downtown, sunday sleeping and studying...not on any one of these days did i know that these three girls would be the ones that make me smile until my cheeks hurt. at the end of our freshman year we quickly found out that we had to live together in the "pink room." now at the adpi house there are four 6-girl rooms and if you HAVE to live in a room with five other girls, you definitely don't want to be in the pink room. but there we were. and instantly, we learned the rules to live by: 1) don't talk to haley for 1 hour after she wakes up 2) if you can't find shannon call jacob, britt, blake or zack 3) kelly has allergies, never misses class, and is ALWAYS sweet 3) if you want to stop hearing whitney's alarm go off, you have to wake her up yourself 4) if you are missing your clothes, look in shannon's closet. if they are not there, call jacob, britt, blake or zack, they might know where to find them 5) kelly talks to mrs. gail everyday at 7 in the morning 6) haley and colin fight and make-up, fight and make-up 7) if you cannot find whitney, she's in birmingham 8) watching the golden girls occurs every afternoon and must be attended 9) dancing to n'sync occurs every night after the goldern girls 10) if someone is having a bad day, fred's sweet tea can cure anything!

eventhough we have gotten a little older, we still are the same girls with the same rules. a few weeks ago i got to see one of my girls tye the knot. the wedding was in athens, where it all began. when i go back to athens, it's always fun. but on that weekend, it was home. we were all there, together, and the only agenda was to stand up for haley and be with her on her day...but somehow it felt like my day. i haven't smiled that big, laughed that hard, or been more proud in my whole life. i was with my girls. i was home.

I have a Pay Day

My Dad told me about a month ago I needed to update my blog with good news...'Old Suckey' was just too dreadful. Yes, I agree, it was in fact dreadful but after the dread came good news...I am officially employed! Everybody shout with me...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am working at MasonryArts Stone in Birmingham. I have been here for about a month now and I, too, get to enjoy that beloved Pay Day the rest of the world has been bragging about for so many years! Yeah Me! Thank you all for your constant prayers and support through that awful, awful, awful, terrible time of waiting and interviewing, waiting and interviewing. Truly, thank you.

'ole sucky

i am afraid to tell you that reading this entry will not bring joy, laughs, or even silly memories...but more of sadness and fear. these are two emotions that i do not like to admit but they remain to be haunting friends that will not go away. sadness because i wake up and feel i have no purpose. fear because i have no idea when or where i will get that job i love. god has continuously orchistrated my entire life. even when i did not trust him or at times think he didn't care, god continued to lead me...yes i have to admit i made him lead me from behind but he always had a plan. so why am i finding it so hard to believe in his plan now? i want to say i have never felt this way, but i know i must have sometime ago. terry and i washed our cars this weekend and the outcome was his truck looked brand spankin' new and mine looked like it had been spit washed...the outcome, a new name...'ole sucky. me and my car...'ole suckies. (you have to say it with that twangy and redneck alabama drawl to get the full affect of just how sucky we are!) deep in my heart i know that yes my car may in fact be 'ole sucky, but me, i am not. but i feel it. and that makes it real.

i don't want to cry anymore. i find myself asking what is causing those tears...sometimes it is because i don't feel like i am good enough at what i do, sometimes it is because if i have to teach one more elementary class i might lose it, but lately i cry because of my sin. my sin of not trusting god. my sin of wanting to wallow in self-pity. my sin of failure, faithlessness. my sin of self righteousness. my sin of thinking i actually deserve an incredible job. my sin of being human. and then a whole new wave of tears come and boy are they colossal...but not because of sin, but because of grace. tears that allow me to rejoice in the gospel. tears that allow me to stand in the face of my enemies with all the armor god dresses us with. but over and over again i become weak and all the armor it too heavy for my own strength and i fall. and once again i am caught in the "ole sucky cycle".

i read a novel called redeeming love just a few weeks ago and i seemed to have learned more from the author's biography than from the pages in the novel. she wrote romance novels before becoming a christian and was quite successful. but once she became a christian she couldn't find the words to do the one thing she loved and was gifted to do...write stories. she said she stuggled and struggled for what felt like forever. in the end god had restored her gift but it was not without a season of discipline (right mom!). this author had experieced discipline from god...god had to make sure that he was her first love and not her writing. now i have no idea if god is trying to teach me that same lesson, but i do know how it feels to love doing the work you were blessed to do. i love interior design. as i even write the words my sight becomes blurry. my tears are from the strongest desire i have to have a career in interior design. i love it. i know to many people i complained all last semester because of how much work i had to do, but i loved it, i do love it. so my ultimate desire: to praise god through this incredible gift he has given me. my ultimate question: when oh god, when?

so forgive me for being weary and sad. i pray it will not stay long. my heart was born to laugh and it is aching. i cannot wait until the day that this too is just a memory. until then...

carrie and me at the koodu 

koodu groupie

lakeview district is a popular place here in b'ham. sometimes if i scrunch my eyes real tight and i dream real hard then i can imagine i am back in athens. i can smell the same smells, hear the same sounds, and sometimes the redneck accents don't become so redneck but more like something i would hear at bird dog. coming out of a guy with nothing less than that shaggy hair we all love so much. though i do not frequent the lakeview nightlife often, when i do we always end up at a "juke joint" (as grandma would say) called the barking koodu. as i sit here and type i am not even sure of the spelling of this place but i am sure of its popularity. you see, carrie's smile can light up a place in an instant, the koodu gets graced with this light often. i do not write this as a negative response to her love for weekend indulgences, but as a love of who she is. she loves to meet new people, hang out with friends, listen to white guys attempt to rap the latest outkast or usher song, and on top of it all...she loves to dance.

dance...something i cannot seem to grasp a love for. something i cannot seem to get a coordination for. but carrie...she can dance. maybe that is why i am drawn to her so often. she loves life. she allows herself to taste all the sweet things god made for her. although i do not share a love for the 2-step as she does, we do share a love for shopping, shoes, cokes from mcdonalds, chick-fil-a (while i eat her french fries, of coarse), seaside, new york, sex and the city. she allows me to taste these everyday simple pleasures with her. she allows me to love life with her.

since moving to b'ham, carrie has opened her life to me. but what amazes me most about the unlocked door to her heart is that she has tons of friends. she has friends everywhere, from all walks of life. she has a mason jar full of friends but instead of closing the lid and letting just those few chosen ones grow and perserve over time, she continues to pack us in. her jar is so full of people we begin to mesh with one another and soon we cannot even remember how we all came to know one another. but then i always remember...we became friends because carrie invited us to dance.

mere 

mrs. bill malone

there is a train up the hill from my apartment. every night i hear it come from someplace and journey on to another. in the midst of my own day to day comings and goings, i have yet to look and see where the trains tracks even are, but one thing is for certain...it is always coming and going. as i sit and hear that notorious train engine, i am reminded that even though i do not know its daily purpose i do know of its consistancy. i can always rely on the horn to wake me up from a nap, or to interrupt me when trying to talk on the phone. but that train also reminds me of deep friendships. friendships that involve special people and thier own day to day comings and goings. i go not know where their life leads them everyday. i do not know what excitements are happening, or the things that brings a tear to their eye. but what i do know is that these friendships are consistant, reliable, and unending. just as i know that the train will never stop blowings is warning, i know that mere's friendship will never stop giving its love.

many of you know my mere...a friend who is constant and steadfast. i often sit back and think of "us" and do not remember where the beginning lies. it is as if she has always been there. she is classic, timeless, the eptiomy of grace, a true southern lady. the picture above is mere on her wedding day. i love that picture. she is beautiful. but what amazes me about ole mere is that on that special day, she looked more like herself than ever. she was elegant but she is always elegant. she was tender but she is always tender. she had hives but she always has hives. she laughed but she always laughs. she loved her man and she will always love her husband. i was her friend and she has always be mine.

mere and i are at the point in our friendship where most of it has been spent apart. apart by going to different colleges. apart by meeting new friends. apart by moving into new homes. but no matter how apart we get, we will always be together. we will always have fpd, softball, the dreaded basketball, prom, those certain heartarches, those special christmas trees, afternoons at grandmas, crazy moms in france, and hell on the slopes of canada. but even more, we will always have new memories, new laughs, new announcements, new stories. i do not know what time mere wakes up in the morning or when she says goodbye to bill, which comes first makeup for hair (although i do know the hair part takes quite a bit of time) or if she even tries to cook after an exhausting day. but that is ok. because even though i do not know mere's comings and goings, i know she is there, i know there is always an "us".

living wih a boy

Originally uploaded by wlelliot.

he is a coach, a sports nut, has tendency to yell at the tv, espn psycho, sometimes ghetto, he definitely snores, is a cookie monster, hates anything healthy to eat, romatically challenged, let us not forget vertically challenged, a thinker, not so much a comedian, likes fruity drinks while i guzzle the beer, an alabama fan but in time a georgia convert, a wonderful cuddler, great kisser, my best friend, love of my life, overall...the man who keeps me smiling.

he does not understand my love for georgia, midnight runs to mcdonalds, van morrison, my surprise cry fests, need for girly movies, coffee and katie couric in the morning, sleeping marathons, or my constant need for new shoes. however, he does know how to love me.

since it is valentine's day, i thought it was only appropriate to honor my husband, my best friend, my terry. i live each day for a dream and he lives in reality. he keeps me grounded while allowing me to round up a life of fantasies. he has a family i adore, and is adored by my family. he is a know-it-all at times, but if i am really honest, he does know it all. he sees my stubborness not as a roadblock but as another reason to love me. no matter what i look like, he tells me how beautiful i am. he prays for me , he prays for us. we let each other be ourselves while remaining one. i miss him during the day. i miss kissing him when i sleep. i miss cuddling when i am awake. i joke and poke fun that he is hard work, impossible at times, and who needs kids when i have terry...but it is my way of saying he is all mine and i don't want to share him. i love being us. i love terry.

what am i doing?

Originally uploaded by wlelliot.

so what could be so important to say that i am not picking up the phone, but yet, trying to be computer savvy and dare i say a computer "nerd"? well, after being in birmingham for almost three years, finding the love of my life and let us not forget finally graduating from college, i have come to accept that i officially live in alabama...and doom of all doom, i have the dreaded alabama tag! with that comes the sadness of having friends far away, not so far away, and then those new friends who are close to home (alabamians are not so bad). i often find myself day by day thinking of various friends, trips, experiences, and moments in time. those moments are in my thoughts for a reason...because i love my life, i love the people in my life, and i love how that has shaped who i am.

i have shared with many of you the various feelings that overwhelmed me after my wedding. one of those feelings was that of blessing. i was blessed beyond belief that i had so many of those that i love around me on such an important day in my life. if was fun to look at everyone and remember something precious and priceless about them. so, here i am, copying my sister once again (she is the one who introdued me to this nerdy crap), and wondering what exactly i am trying to do with this. well, this is a salute to you...my friends, my family, those stupid days in highschool when we thought we were so grown up, those crazy nights in athens when life couldn't get any better, those summers away from friends only to meet new ones that will only add to the quality of life, and let us not forget the midnight runs to mcdonalds! yes we have all certainly grown up, not much, but we do have to portray a sense of responsibility. so, we get married, we stand up for one another at weddings, we move to new places, some of you get to keep experiencing the dating world, while some of us keep answering the dreaded question "when are the babies coming?", and then somehow in the day to day life of busy schedules and lives, we sit back and dream about the memories and wish we were young again.

all that to say: keep checking in, saying hey, remember i love you, and the next time you look, i will be telling stories of another person who has made my life a blast!!! one day you will find new words, words about yourself and maybe even a dreaded picture that you had hoped was burned by now!

thanks for being in my life and here's to those midnight runs to mcdonalds...