septmeber 4th

seriously, another one mom?
naked time in the swing - her favorite part of the day!
addison loves going out and about in her car seat!

have i told you i love my baby addison? man, i do. today marked my half-way point of maternity leave - 6 1/2 weeks down, 6 1/2 more to go. i cried at the dinner table tonight. it certainly was not my first time crying about daycare and i know it will not be my last. but tonight i was filled with fear. what will i miss in her day to day life? will she miss me? will she think i have abandoned her? it is hard for to me to leave her while i go to the gym for just a couple of hours each day, i cannot imagine what it will be like september 4th.

there are many dates in my mind that have played a significant part in my life...

april 24, 1996 - 16th birthday
march 20, 2004 - wedding day
december 18, 2004 - graduated from college
june 10, 2007 - addison's due date

all of the dates have lingered in my mind for extended periods of time. they are all dates i longed for, couldn't wait for. i don't think i have ever dreaded such a day as i dread september 4th. it will be hard, heck it is hard right now. i keep telling myself i am excited about work, that i miss work...i think today i realized i was lying. i would give anything to be able to stay home with little addison, but at this point it is not possible. it is ok. i will be ok. but i am scared and sad today. so today it is not ok.

i had no intention of being so glum, it just happened. i guess i felt the need to really say the fear that lives in my head. i feel better now. not really - i am just lying again. i guess i need prayer. please pray that i will be strong come septmeber 4th.

on a more fun note, we had our 6 week check-up today. 11lbs 12oz and 22 3/4" long...she is still a big'n!