babies, cheap gas, craziness and blessings...

it has been quite a while since my last post and to my few readers i am sorry. in my absence life has seemed to take quiet steps and those are the moments i have treasured. i have a feeling that those days of rest and selfish loathing are drawing to an end. you see, these quiet steps are soon to be loud crys, dirty diapers, a jealous dog, late nights and no sleep. but i am ok. i won't say i am ready, but i am ok. i don't think as first time mothers and parents we truly comprehend what in the heck we are getting ourselves into...but this i do know - life as i have known it for 26 years is soon to change. as of today i am 13 weeks and 5 days. it finally hit me that i am pregnant when i was 13 weeks and 1 day. so i am a little late, what's new?

i was at the Racetrac getting some cheap gas to fill up my "mommy mobile" just the other night. just as with any other cheap gas station, the trash cans are overflowing and stink to high heaven, the pump holder thingie is broken so you have to stand out in the friggin' cold while it takes 10 minutes for the cheap gas to fill up your tank, and ok coarse there is always cheap gas that spills out all over the car, all over your clothes and let us not forget all over your hand. so here i am getting high off gas and i realize my little peanut is enjoying the party as well. i am serious, right then and there - with all the other rednecks at the cheap gas station - i realize i am pregnant. my little one no longer looks like an alien but a real little baby. crazy. i am going to be a mom and terry is going to be a dad. crazy. my clothes don't fit and i have a right to continue to gain a little wieght. fun but crazy. my parents are now grandparents and my grandmother is now a great-grandmother. crazy. i soon will be that parent standing in line at the mall with their screaming child waiting to see santa. i will be going to disney on ice, the circus, and god help me - the wiggles. crazy, crazy, crazy. yes this is all crazy but it is a blessing.

in the midst of this blessing, i have often asked god why this was so easy for us...i feel like we had our very own easy button from Staples. but that easy button didn't have answers for my burning questions: can we really do this, will we ruin our child, who will it look like, who will it act like, will it let me sleep at all, will i remember to feed it and if i do will i remember to feed henry, too. i have to wait well into next year for most of these answers and for some i know that most likely i will never get an answer...but i do wonder. and while i wonder i will be more careful as to how much gas i inhale.

houses and puppies and cars, oh my

what can i say, it's been a good year! we have a house that own's us, a puppy that loves us, and a new car that puts 'ole suckie to shame. we sold 'ole suckie yesterday. i wish i had a picture for all to see the look of joy on my face. it was priceless. you know mastercard is taking ideas for new commercials...maybe in honor of 'ole suckie, i should submit one about her.
gas spent traveling from athens to b'ham: $5000.oo
cost of replacing water pump, both times:
$350.00
quick fixes for a broken ac: $155.00
cost of AAA to save me from my next break-
down: (i really don't know, ask my dad)
feeling of cool air on the face and a smooth transmission: Priceless
I do have to say, it is always kinda sad to say goodbye to something that has been beaten and abused and still not willing to give up. She was a trooper... a good friend. She let me sing drivin' and cryin' at the top of my lungs, she kept me safe from all those rocks that flew at me, and no matter how bad a talked about her, she always got me from point A to point B, well almost always...sometimes i would forget to give her food and she would pass out on me. But most of all she made me thankful. life feels the need to be humbling at times. 'ole suckie humbled me. when she made more noice than terry's snoring at night, it humbled me. when these 16 year olds in birmingham drove around in there bmw and lexus', it humbled me. when she would decided to blow up in smoke in the middle of 280, it humbled me. but life isn't about the best car, or the cutest house. to me, life is about having fun. laughing. smiling as big as i can, even with braces on. today i will have fun, laugh, and smile. not because i have houses and puppies and cars, oh my...but because i am humbled by life, i am blessed by life.

baby brayden

i got to capture a sweet moment between gracie and baby brayden the other night. i like to think that gracie is telling him secrets and tips on life and laughter. gracie is nothing short of funny. she can make us laugh in a heartbeat. she is passionate...and passionate people have a not so funny side too. i think that is why i relate to this little toddler. we have our good moments and we have our bad moments: the good are really good, the bad really bad. she has a lot to learn but more importantly she has a lot to teach. she will teach baby brayden how to take full advantage of being the baby of the family. she will teach him how to get one more peice of candy from mimi. she will teach him how to dance. and poor brayden, she will probably teach him how to play dress-up.

just like gracie wanted her time with brayden, i did too. when you have been married for almost two years the #1 question asked and the #1 topic among other married friends is babies. we say we are not ready. we say we are scared to death. we say we are too selfish. we say we want more time with our husbands. we say it will be 5 more years. we say alot of stuff to ignore that stupid clock ticking in our heads and hearts. but when i get a precious one month old baby in my arms, that clock sounds like a siren. so here i am, confessing that no, i am still not ready...but if jesus said i was, i think i would have a fun little dance with gracie and baby brayden.

a day with our kel

i haven't laughed as much, smiled so sweet, talked till i lost my voice (literally) as i did saturday. the bride-to-be was as beautiful as ever, the groom-to-be was as precious as ever, and my friends, MY FRIENDS, were dearer than ever.

at the end of the day, the dresses might not have fit just right: a little baggy here, a little tight there, a special amount of cleavage on one, the sign of no cleavage on the other. but the girls...they fit perfect.

Las Meninas

I needed to write something fun today and for me art is fun. My favorite classes in college were my art history classes. I would have been an art history major if I new I wouldn't end up being a security guard at the local museum. In my very first art class at the good ole UGA I fell in love with art. Who knows why. Maybe because for the first time in my life I had fallen in love with something that wasn't human but it meant something. I felt smart and cultural. It was also the first time where I had no desire to skip class...and usually I could think of a million reasons for someone to skip class (it's a wonder I ever graduated!)

I will never forget the day this painting made its debute on the slides. I have no idea what made me admire it but it was instant love. It is from the Baroque period, which is my favorite, but this painting, this little girl, she is amazing. The whole painting is mysterious. You have no idea what is going on...what does it mean? who is the subject? what are the people doing? who are these people? It makes you wonder and it makes you keep asking for more.

I like mystery. I like to watch people. I like going to new places and seeing people interact. I love big cities because people have agendas and ipods. I love hiking and camping because those people have granola in their bags and cool dogs by their side. I love hollywood actors because they have the world at thier disposal yet most are still miserable and I wonder how can that be. I love the beach because all that is important is a good buffet song, a good shagging partner, and a good daquari. I love the mountains because of the adventure and fearless skiiers.

I hate personality tests because I hate being catogorized into one "type." I like thinking that I am a mystery...just like this painting. I like being the new yorker, the hiker, the skiier, the a-lister, the beach bum, and so many more. So today I am escaping to my favorite painting to once again wonder what makes this little girl to special?...and I will probably say, as always, I have no idea, she just is...it is a fun mystery.

Meet Henry...

Here is the little rascal that has stolen our hearts...yes, even Terry's. Today I am thankful that I finally have a puppy to make me smile!!! Thank you Terry for the best Christmas Present ever!

I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!

story people

i love story people. we met my summer on the vineyard and my love has only grown since then. they grace the walls of my kitchen and the homes of many of my friends. they are my "go-to" present. when nothing in this world seems good enough for someone, there is always a story to tell and a picture to be given. why do i love them so much? i think it is because in just a few short words i am provoked and challanged and contemplative. the stories make me think about the things i have done. they make me think about the people that i love and why i love them. this one in called Angel of Mercy. it makes me think of my great-uncle clarence. he is as close to me as any grandfather could be. for those of you who do not know, he is sick. but that does not define him. no. what defines him is his love for life. his life motto is..."never stop learning." somehow, magically, he ignites in your soul this desire to learn, to explore, to wake up and stop missing your life. he is my Angel of Mercy.

thank you clarence for constantly keeping me from missing my life. i love you.