it has been quite a while since my last post and to my few readers i am sorry. in my absence life has seemed to take quiet steps and those are the moments i have treasured. i have a feeling that those days of rest and selfish loathing are drawing to an end. you see, these quiet steps are soon to be loud crys, dirty diapers, a jealous dog, late nights and no sleep. but i am ok. i won't say i am ready, but i am ok. i don't think as first time mothers and parents we truly comprehend what in the heck we are getting ourselves into...but this i do know - life as i have known it for 26 years is soon to change. as of today i am 13 weeks and 5 days. it finally hit me that i am pregnant when i was 13 weeks and 1 day. so i am a little late, what's new?
i was at the Racetrac getting some cheap gas to fill up my "mommy mobile" just the other night. just as with any other cheap gas station, the trash cans are overflowing and stink to high heaven, the pump holder thingie is broken so you have to stand out in the friggin' cold while it takes 10 minutes for the cheap gas to fill up your tank, and ok coarse there is always cheap gas that spills out all over the car, all over your clothes and let us not forget all over your hand. so here i am getting high off gas and i realize my little peanut is enjoying the party as well. i am serious, right then and there - with all the other rednecks at the cheap gas station - i realize i am pregnant. my little one no longer looks like an alien but a real little baby. crazy. i am going to be a mom and terry is going to be a dad. crazy. my clothes don't fit and i have a right to continue to gain a little wieght. fun but crazy. my parents are now grandparents and my grandmother is now a great-grandmother. crazy. i soon will be that parent standing in line at the mall with their screaming child waiting to see santa. i will be going to disney on ice, the circus, and god help me - the wiggles. crazy, crazy, crazy. yes this is all crazy but it is a blessing.
in the midst of this blessing, i have often asked god why this was so easy for us...i feel like we had our very own easy button from Staples. but that easy button didn't have answers for my burning questions: can we really do this, will we ruin our child, who will it look like, who will it act like, will it let me sleep at all, will i remember to feed it and if i do will i remember to feed henry, too. i have to wait well into next year for most of these answers and for some i know that most likely i will never get an answer...but i do wonder. and while i wonder i will be more careful as to how much gas i inhale.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
My precious Whitney...God has given you and Terry a beautiful blessing and He will help you through each step. Right in front of me, taped to my computer, on a worn piece of "Pink Pig" stationary is a verse that my very own WHIT wrote for me, I look at it every day: "But he said to me, 'my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therfore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9 Amen. I can't wait to be CRAZY AUNT KELLY :)!
Post a Comment